Review

This is a sort of mental health memoir, mostly consisting of transcripts from the author’s therapy sessions. Baek, a young South Korean woman who runs social media for a publishing company, is mildly depressed and has low self esteem. She worries about how she’s seen by others, despite having an outwardly successful life. Towards the end, there are some longer first person sections.

I found it mildly interesting, but unfortunately not as interesting as I’d hoped…. suckered in yet again by a banger of a title and a good cover. I thought it might be a bit more humorous and relatable, but the author’s mental health struggles were more extreme than the average person’s. Unfortunately, Baek has since died by suicide. She was certainly brave to publish her challenges. People say that in South Korea, mental health topics are often not spoken about, so the success of this books has helped to change that a little.

Reading a book from another culture is something I want to do more of – I really feel like it gives me some small insights into another way of living: for example, I learned more about South Korean social hierarchy, such as the importance of the university you’ve attended, as well as their (more) stringent beauty standards.

Here are two of my favourite bits:

“My hypocrisy disgusts me.

But nothing comes from scolding myself or hating myself for these feelings. I simply must accept that I have room for improvement, and consider these moments as constant opportunities for self-reflection, to feel shame and joy at having learned something new and to keep inching towards change.

I can’t suddenly become like the people I envy. That would be truly impossible. The only way for me to become a better person is to go my way little by little, as tedious as that can be.”

“But books are different. I often look for books that are like medicine, that fit my situation and my thoughts, and I read them over and over again until the pages are tattered, underlining everything and still the book will have something to give me. Books never tire of me. And in time they present a solution, quietly waiting until I am fully healed. That’s one of the nicest things about books.”

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Mental health issues, including low self esteem, depression, cognitive distortion,occasional suicidal ideation, considerable body image issues. Author grew up in a family suffering domestic violence, which is touched on briefly a couple of times.

*

Baek, S. (2023). I want to die but I want to eat tteokbokki (A. Hur, Trans.). Bloomsbury Publishing.

Images and quotes are used on this blog post under the “Fair dealing for criticism or review” provision of the Commonwealth Copyright Act, 1968.

I read this novel via Libby — support your local library!